Those are lovely words aren’t they? I think we all wish there was some magic formula to help us balance all the things.
Spoiler, there isn’t one.
I’m a (mostly) single mother to a six year old. I have a 40 hour a week day job, work as an author’s assistant, and work with a book box company. It is SO easy put my passions to the side while I handle all the things life throws at me. (Like how I have had two weeks since the week before Christmas without some sort of major event: strep, holidays, flu, dental work, minor home fire—you get the picture) I don’t have it all figured out, but I do have a few tips and look forward to hearing yours.
1- Accept that you CAN’T do all the things
Didn’t I just say this was about balancing all the things? Yes. I didn’t lie. You are not a superhuman (that I know of–and if you are you have a unique advantage) and you cannot do ALL the things. Every morning I make a list of all the things I’m responsible for that day. Then I choose which things I won’t be doing. It’s a relief to look and realize “this can wait until tomorrow,” “I don’t have time to do this,” “this is not necessary,” or simply “I don’t want to.” I don’t worry about those things—I just let them go.
2- Be selfish
This one is hard for me. I’m constantly pushing myself to do all the things for everyone else, and putting my goals and passions on the back burner. Sometimes, you need to be selfish. You need to choose you and realize that being a little selfish is OK. It’s good for your mental health, and it’s the only way you’ll realize your own goals. I find it helps to plan out my selfish times: I have set nights a week where I claim time. It’s only one hour, but this hour of time is mine, and I’m not sharing it. If it’s scheduled I can prep my little, or feel less guilty about saying “no” to anyone else who may have demands of my time.
3- Make yourself uncomfortable
Growth doesn’t happen when we are sitting where we are most comfortable. Do something that scares you or makes you a little uncomfortable. Like doing a day-long takeover on a group of authors when you haven’t published a novel/ won a prize/ feel you have zero credentials and nothing to offer. Or printing business cards to take with you to book conventions so you have that prop to push yourself into conversations about your own work with other people. Do the damn thing.
4- Practice the art of refocusing
Have you ever found yourself prepared to work on a task, but when you sit down you are caught up in another task? Maybe your notifications pull you from your work to your social media. Whatever the case may be, I challenge you to practice the art of refocusing.
First: recognize you are distracted. It is so tempting to tell yourself “I’m working, it’s just on a different task and that’s fine.” Is it truly fine–or are you constantly procrastinating by completing any other task? Admit you are distracted from your goal.
Then: when you feel yourself going off course, or even when you are elbow deep in a different task–STOP. Stop what you are doing and refocus on the task you are meant to be doing. Put down your phone, close that app, atop responding to that email. It will still be there when it’s time to complete that task. Once you’ve done this a few times, you will catch yourself sooner and sooner in the process and it will save you so much time.
Next: you need to learn to recognize your triggers. Are you distracted by notifications? Needing a snack? Procrastination? Whatever it is, take note of it.
Finally: take action to prevent those triggers. Keep snacks by your desk. Turn your notifications on silent for your time. Find creative ways to keep yourself from distractions.
5- Learn to manage your time
Time is your most expensive commodity, and you have to mange how you spend it. You can either learn to schedule things, work to plan, and manage things, or you can constantly feel run down. All of the above points are ways to help you manage what time you have any create more time for yourself by eliminating stress. If you don’t have capacity: learn to say no. If you are wasting time: learn to refocus. If you are constantly going off course: learn to be a bit selfish.
You cannot effectively manage your time if you do not keep track of it.
I am what people may say is a bit excessive on my planning and time management. I have a monthly planner where I put all my events, due dates, goals, and other obligations. I have a weekly planner where I transfer all these things at the beginning of the week. I also use this to meal plan, remind myself of after-school activities, and plan my weekly goals. I also have a daily planner. This is a new addition to the team, and I honestly don’t know how I functioned without it before. Every morning I sit down with my planner and write down what I am responsible for (sound familiar?) and complete that process. I also write down any key times for scheduling for the day and list my goals as if I have accomplished them. Believing you can do something is sometimes half the battle. You don’t need three planners to manage your time effectively. You may not need a planner at all. Maybe you’re someone who can work well off their phone calendar or computer calendar. You do need some form of calendar you are looking at on a daily basis.
You want to set yourself up for success by giving yourself the best advantages you can.
What are your tips and tricks to make your passion a priority?